As the holidays approach, the stress level of every individual increases. Questions arise such as, “Where are we going for dinner?” “Should we travel?” “What should we cook?” Everyone says they “love” the holidays, but hate the “attributes” that accompany them. This includes everything from seeing people you really don’t care to see, sitting in hours of traffic, or planning the dinner menu. Yet, after you reach your “destination,” doesn’t everything turn out…okay? On the ride home, you reflect, “Gosh, that wasn’t that bad.”
For those of us missing a loved one on a holiday, or any day for that matter, it doesn’t have to be “bad.” Do we shed a tear on Christmas for baby B? Of course. However, we believe he is spending that day in heaven, protected, safe, and warm. We shed tears because we miss him. Plain and simple. We do not need a holiday for that. So, we have to ask ourselves the question, “How will we handle those special days?” We wonder what our loved one would want us to do. Well, who were you when they were alive? That was the person they loved. Let us not lose what made us special to them.
It has been a long road for us, and will continue to be, as expected. However, we have others around us who are fighting their own battles. We are finding ways to support them; reciprocate what was given to us. It is the cycle of friendship. So, we realize that others have “bad” days as well. How can we teach them what we have learned, even if the circumstances are completely different? When a “bad” day is approaching, or arrived, find a memento that will remind you of the good, like baby B’s blue musical chair. T wants it visible in our home because of the memories it serves. Memories make us smile. Really, after thinking about such good times, you’ll say to yourself, “Gosh, that wasn’t that bad.” In fact, you will feel quite good…
Helping Him Grieve 