My Story

I am a mom of two beautiful boys. What makes me, well, different, is that one son is living and one son is dead. This has only occurred in recent months, but that day of loss is engraved in my mind. We all have a story; maybe hearing my family’s story will make some of you realize that your family is not alone.

Prior to leaving for work on a hot, summer morning, I went to check on my youngest son B because I had yet to hear his moans and groans to get out of the crib! He was such a happy young boy! So, I entered as my jolly self, singing “Good Morning” and calling his name. While opening his blinds, I realized I heard… silence.  Very unlike my son B. because, by now, he would be ecstatic seeing I am there to get him out of the ‘cage’! I glanced at his crib and I noticed him still asleep, arms gently folded under his chin. I specifically remember thinking, “Awww…It is just like that picture I have of the day he was born.” Sweet. Calling his name and laughing, I went to pick up my sleeping angel….

For reasons beyond our control, even beyond doctors explanations, Baby B was chosen to become an angel; the change came some time during that previous night. What remains most difficult is not having a reason for his early departure.

I am here to share that day and those that have followed. I have to come to realize that the grief I am experiencing is not just occurring with me, but with my husband and son as well. However, adults have help. Adults have support, or at least, can find it for themselves. Children, however, have been forgotten in the grief process.  They cannot comprehend their own emotions let alone how their sibling is there one day, but gone the next. This blog will document how my older son needs us now more than ever.

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