Always will.

“Loved you then, love you still. Always have, always will.”

This saying is written on an ornament in our bedroom. T noticed it and said, “Is this about me, Mom?” I replied, “Of course!” Then came, “Well, it must be about B too because he is in heaven, but we still love him.” I replied, “Of course.”  He continues to draw and write, and his behavior has greatly improved (although Santa is approaching!) I admire him for his strength. We swear, and hope, that B visits him in his dreams. Children don’t know they possess such strength. Adults often question their own strength.

In times of struggles, in a year of illnesses, deaths, and separations, how do we find that strength? More importantly, how do we provide it for others? It is a season of merry, yet some cannot crack that smile. I am often asked, “How do you do it?” Well, none of us have an answer. We just “do.” What I can say is this: Speak with your angel. Find your strength.

Do we close the blinds? Do we ignore the holiday cards? What life would that be for us, or for those around us? Certainly not one our angel would wish for us. Just as I watch T color a picture, you should take the time to do something to make you smile. What makes you strong? How do you demonstrate strength?

I admire the courage you have to face the day. Do not waste a moment. Our angels loved us then and they love us still.

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6 responses to “Always will.

  1. I am so moved by your strength, and the gift you are giving to your sons (both by honoring the memory of one, and honoring the grief process of the other).

    My daughter is deeply grieving the death of my mother, and on this first anniversary she is feeling it anew. It has been a difficult year for us all, but maybe most for her. I pray her angels surround her and give her help.

    Your courage is helping me have courage.

  2. So true. I keep thinking C is watching us and she would want us to be happy 🙂

  3. I have actually been feeling quite crabby lately. I sometimes try and reflect on my angel N and wonder how different things might be all around with me and my husband. The girls still talk about him all the time. In fact one is still questioning if we can try again. I just wish that when people would ask I still wouldn’t get frustrated with it. But in honor of him I’m going to try and pull all the inspiration I can to make this holiday a better one, since last year was very difficult. I’m very proud of T though. He has come such a long way. 🙂

    • I admire the strength of you and your family. N visits the girls in their dreams, I am sure. I hope you will have a great holiday, knowing he is watching over you. Not many of us are lucky enough to have such special angels. And yes, some people can be ignorant with comments and questions; It’s pure insensitivity. We can just try to be the better person. I’ll be thinking of you guys…

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