It really doesn’t matter what type of day I am experiencing or how many minutes I sat in traffic. I can walk through my door, glance at T and simply melt to pieces. He is my sunshine; the love I feel for him can be overwhelming. In recent months, I continue to melt to pieces, watching my oldest son T smile. Yet, my heart now has an ache for him that no parent should ever feel. Sadness can be just as overwhelming as joy.
I will never understand what he thinks in his mind about the sudden loss of his best friend and brother B. Being so young, I can imagine he has confusion and heartache. I could read books ten times over and listen to countless speeches about loss and grief, but I am the one putting him to bed each night, trying to have him create sweet dreams. I knew I had to create my own methods of helping him grieve; we needed to grieve as a family.