“What do you miss most?”
The question comes up every now and then when we speak of B. My husband and I miss his hearty laugh while T misses the way B would yell from the crib. The difficult part has been how to treasure those moments as keepsakes. So, we have created shadow boxes .
We got together in B’s room and each chose some of our favorite items belonging to B. My husband chose the “old man” floppy hat and T chose some loud, obnoxious toys; I had to choose B’s socks! The child had such huge feet for a 16 month old! Thus, we took all of these items and made lovely shadow boxes. They now hang rather beautifully in B’s room. I look at every item in those boxes and I can recall an exact moment in time with B.
We have other items belonging to B that we used to create special gifts for family members, like pillows from bibs and blankets. We wanted to do a nice gesture to those who loved B most. Of course, in our families, everybody wanted more items! It is just that we couldn’t part with what little we had left of B.
God only gave us 16 good months with our boy, so we will never have his first tooth that fell out, his first day of school picture, and well, I cannot go on. That being said, we are a little selfish with the things he left behind. We treasure his first pair of shoes, the last set of dirty clothes that we never washed, his little lock of hair…
The shadow box creation was another activity that gave us time to speak with T about B, keeping the lines of communication constantly open with him and showing him our support. Creating shadow boxes can be a wonderful experience to honor those special moments in the present or moments we can now only reflect upon.
Helping Him Grieve 